Why Don’t I Care Anymore?

At the height of election season, and in the surreal months following the results, the inauguration, the repealing of basic progress for women and the LGBTQ community and the environment and international diplomacy and such, I was fucking fired up.

I called senators. Never done that before!

I was writing opinion pieces in this here blog. I was reposting shit from “Millenials for Reovlution,” despite my (apparently) not being a millennial. I guess I’m Gen-Y. How boring.

I was all set to join protests and rallies, but made enough excuses for not doing that.

And, for whatever reason, the fervor has tapered off. Am I desensitized to it? It’s not that I don’t really care or have concern for our undocumented community, LGBTQ community, the environment, our appearance to the rest of the world, etc.

I don’t know. I don’t have an answer to this one. Have you gone through the same arc? My best guess for where I am right now is a cross between being totally desensitized to shocking stuff (most words that flow from Spicer’s mouth and Trump’s fingertips… I mean we’re more or less openly denying the holocaust… the president and his cabinet… and Kellyanne Conway couldn’t possibly outdo the crazy shit she said, including the good o’ “alternative facts” line… maybe nothing amazes anymore) and feeling utterly powerless.

I feel so powerless to affect change. I truly feel like I can’t desert my post as a teacher. I don’t want to neglect or spend less time with my son or wife. Am I going to be on the wrong side of history? Am I going to be interpreted as apathetic and a part of the problem?

I don’t know at all. But I sure could use some feedback.

Are you going through the same thing? Can you sympathize? Do you have a solution to any of this shit?

Call this one a diary entry, folks. I’m not even motivated enough to look up funny pictures.

Okay, maybe just one…

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… and one more.

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Goodnight.

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4 thoughts on “Why Don’t I Care Anymore?”

  1. You are not alone in what you’re feeling. We have to walk a fine line between protest, activism, indignation and…well, sanity. We fight forces of fascism to ensure people can lead reasonably good lives. But if, in doing so, our lives become miserable and anxiety-ridden, then we ourselves have usurped our own happiness. Just posting something like you did is enough sometimes: it lets the rest of us know that we are still allowed to be humans in search of contentment, too, despite the dystopian horrors playing out before our eyes.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I both appreciate the sentiment shared and in what an articulate manner you shared it. Truly, you are meant to write, if not also be an activist. The line, “…despite the dystopian horros playing out before our eyes” was so spot-in that I had to laugh despite myself.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. I’ve been thinking about this for a few days trying to put my thoughts into words. Now I don’t have to (haha)
    Thanks for your response.

    Like

  3. I stay ill. I left the blogging world because I took a high level position at a very Republican company, and outing myself as a Hilary supporter would make my life miserable. I post nothing political. I keep my piehole shut. It’s hard.

    Like

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