The Day-Care-adox!!

Well, for another sparklingly awful portmanteau, we have Daycareadox, which is like a daycare paradox. Yes, you guessed it, another genuine article on being a bad parent. Let’s start with some definitions, because I’m not sure what this situation is (by God, we’re going to fucking figure it out by the end of this blog, or you’d better leave a lot of obnoxious-as-hell responses about how wrong I am).

“At the most basic level, a paradox is a statement that is self contradictory because it often contains two statements that are both true, but in general, cannot both be true at the same time” (

What’s a good example of a paradox? “You have to spend money to make money.” I suppose that counts. “Nobody goes to that bar anymore; it’s too crowded.” Yeah, that works, too. I’m thinking this daycare situation isn’t a paradox. Maybe more of a catch 22…

“a dilemma or difficult circumstance from which there is no escape because of mutually conflicting or dependent conditions” (the googles).

“Nice try, blogger guy.” -Alan Arkin

What’s a catch 22? Well, let’s take the premise of the novel “Catch 22.” The main character tries to get out of combat by claiming that he’s insane; however, by trying to get out of combat, which no sane person could want to participate in, he proves his sanity… and, thus, has to go to war. Maybe that’s closer to the heart of this issue. So… we’ll call it a Day-catch-care 22… Naw, I’ll stick with Day-care-a-dox… it verily rolls off the tongue.

At home: serenity.

Okay, so what’s the big deal, you ask? Our son keeps getting kicked out of daycare for… you guessed it, being a child in daycare. What are his crimes? Well, sometimes he gets a slightly-higher-than-normal temperature. Guess what? That happens during teething! Speaking of: he bites! Well, he’s a one-year-old who’s teething and can’t speak! Our day care leaders even told us that, due to being unable to communicate, children sometimes bite. Okay! He also frequently gets sick… from being in daycare! By the time they’ve noticed his symptoms and sent him home (which leads to another hundred something dollar doctor visit), his ailments are already non-communicable. SO WHY KICK HIM OUT!


Normally, a trip home from work to hang with the youngin’ would be a blessing… except when it’s happened so many times that neither you, nor your wife, have enough time off to keep leaving work! I know teachers are known for their lax attitude toward social and familial responsibilities, hence all of the substitutes, but I’m actually looking to get on the ol’ boss’ good side these days.

Once he leaves our sight…

Rather than ramble on in a vain attempt to bring humor to your joyless life, I’ll end this post with questions and pray to the ever-bloggin’ blogGods that SOMEONE leaves a response.

Is the daycare doing their job by kicking my son out for a slightly-elevated, totally-normal temperature? Is there anyone they are protecting by doing this?

Should they be allowed to eject a “student” over some good-natured biting? Again, we’re not talking about a fully-functional human being, we’re talking about a near-mute one-year-old.

Is it possible that my darkest fears, that Daycare X is understaffed and/or lazy and/or trying to cut corners, have come true, and they simply don’t want to deal with him?

Stay tuned! On the next episode, find out if young Garrett has to seek refuge in a nearby, alternative facility, OR if will he get to stay with THAT DAYCARE COMPANY I TRULY HATE WITH ALL OF MY BEING!!


10 thoughts on “The Day-Care-adox!!”

  1. What is “slightly elevated?” I need to find out the school policy on that so we can compare. The biting thing is tough because if you put yourself in the shoes of the “bittee” how would you be feeling? Kids DO bite, I know because my son was a bit of a biter : ) But, I think it came to a head when my son was a bit older than your guy.
    I did some time outs and frantic parent talking. Did it help? Heck, I don’t remember that was a LONG time ago.
    Hang in there, Dana

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Well, DANA, if that is your real name, I’d like to start by saying GET OFF MY BACK! Okay, kidding, and more seriously, slightly-elevated (looking for confirmation from Wifey) is in the 99.5 to 100.5 range. I usually don’t come close to caring unless the temperature is over 101, but I am a bad parent and could certainly be wrong about that.

    Interesting that this degenerate son of yours was also a biter, considering how adorable my biter son is. The hard part is that we discipline him BUT good at home when he bites, but it sounds like daycare folks are a little afraid (and, I’m sure, rightfully so) to get too loud or discipliney with him. Like you, I’m not so sure that any amount of it is going to help until he can speak and realize that he’s having privileges taken away. We stick him in a corner when he bites and say “NO” rather loudly. However, when we stick him in that corner, he just turns around and smiles at us, which is pretty damn hard to not chuckle about (it’s tough to maintain that serious face!).

    Anyway, I’ll keep my fingers crossed and hope that he winds up like your deadbeat child. I wonder whatever came of him…

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Daycare providers are not allowed to lay hands on children. They can pretty much send them to timeout, separate them from the other kids, or maybe some mild discipline – ours will take kids who are being violent and…sorta..body hug them? Like, she puts them in her lap with their back to her and then wraps her arms (and legs if needed) around them to hold them still without hurting them, thus not allowing them to hurt others. Beyond that, she’s legally not allowed to do anything.

      Same with being sick – if your kid is throwing up, daycares and schools are legally obligated to send them home. Fevers? Not so much. Your kid is one and teething and it’s normal, and if he’s not showing signs of being actually sick…yeah, I think they’re being lazy and don’t want to deal with it. We had one daycare center that refused to even do the basics of communicating with us, so we pulled him and put him in an in-home daycare which has worked out FABULOUSLY for him.

      Littles are hard. They’re too young to understand what they’re doing wrong or that they’re causing pain to others. The only thing that worked for us was biting him back. He didn’t like it, and realized rather quickly that it wasn’t fun to be bitten. *shrug* Each kid is different and weird and parenting is just a big game of trial and error until they turn 18 and hopefully you haven’t screwed them over too much.


      1. Tigger!

        Boy, do I ever appreciate the advice. Yeah, more or less, our daycare is being sick and we’re already looking for an in-home solution from someone we trust. Honestly, the proposition is kind of scary, hence wanting the referral from a friend. A big TRU DAT to the whole communicating with younglings thing. We actually JUST got him saying “please” and “thank you,” which feels like gargantuan strides, considering the rest of his vocabulary consists of “shoes” (indicating it’s time to go outside), “cheese” (indicating he wants cheese), and “kitty” or “doggy” (indicating he saw something with four legs). I hope to hear from you, especially as regards parenting, in the near future! BLOG ON!


      2. I was SUPER hesitant to put our son in an in-home daycare, having heard ALL the horror stories, as one does. But thankfully, Ada County (at the very least) has reports you can view of the various daycares and what violations they have, when, how often, etc. Then you can decide for yourself if you’re “okay” with that violation or not – like, seriously, if they find squirrel poop in the yard, they’ll be all “ANIMAL FECES!!!” and I’m going…I have squirrels in the yard and there’s no training the little bastards. So yeah, so long as every neighborhood stray isn’t using the yard as a litter box and they try to keep things clean? I’m good.

        The daycare center wouldn’t communicate with ME. I’m his parent – I sorta need to know what’s going on. Tell me, did he sleep today? did he eat? were there issues? I can’t help you with him if you don’t communicate with me, and I need to know these things as they’ll impact the rest of my day too!

        If you’re in the Boise area, I can recommend a few daycares – the one I put my son in, and the one I would put him in if I lived in another area of the city. They’re run by people my spouse when to school with, and they seem to be pretty awesome people. I love mine and I’m really happy I got him into a place that lets him thrive. 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

  3. I really am NOT looking forward to the day when we start daycare and my son brings home artworks and cooties in equal measure. They can kick them out for biting? I would think they would be used to dealing with jerk toddlers, since they are all jerks, and managing those kinds of behaviors. Can’t they just crate him?

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I’ve never had more absences from work in my entire life as I’ve had with a child. He gets sick the instant he walks in that door, which typically results in Wifey and I getting sick. I had him all summer; two days after re-entering daycare, he’s sick. It’s insane. As for the biting, who effing knows. I thought they would crate the kids or… you know… UNDERSTAND THAT THEY’RE GODDAMN KIDS! Egocentric is what the daycare lady says, but they don’t give a shit about anyone else and if you take my toy, pain is yours to inherit. Anyway, brace yourself for it!


  4. Ours are about to enter nursery but the guys there said any temperature under 39C is okay for them to be there. I think they get that kids get sick.

    Having said that, I’ll no doubt be called to pick ’em up. Like you I’m a teacher – I guess there’s only so many posters one class can make in a term,,,


    Liked by 1 person

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