Well, for another sparklingly awful portmanteau, we have Daycareadox, which is like a daycare paradox. Yes, you guessed it, another genuine article on being a bad parent. Let’s start with some definitions, because I’m not sure what this situation is (by God, we’re going to fucking figure it out by the end of this blog, or you’d better leave a lot of obnoxious-as-hell responses about how wrong I am).
“At the most basic level, a paradox is a statement that is self contradictory because it often contains two statements that are both true, but in general, cannot both be true at the same time” (examples.yourdictionary.com/examples-of-paradox.html).
What’s a good example of a paradox? “You have to spend money to make money.” I suppose that counts. “Nobody goes to that bar anymore; it’s too crowded.” Yeah, that works, too. I’m thinking this daycare situation isn’t a paradox. Maybe more of a catch 22…
“a dilemma or difficult circumstance from which there is no escape because of mutually conflicting or dependent conditions” (the googles).
What’s a catch 22? Well, let’s take the premise of the novel “Catch 22.” The main character tries to get out of combat by claiming that he’s insane; however, by trying to get out of combat, which no sane person could want to participate in, he proves his sanity… and, thus, has to go to war. Maybe that’s closer to the heart of this issue. So… we’ll call it a Day-catch-care 22… Naw, I’ll stick with Day-care-a-dox… it verily rolls off the tongue.
Okay, so what’s the big deal, you ask? Our son keeps getting kicked out of daycare for… you guessed it, being a child in daycare. What are his crimes? Well, sometimes he gets a slightly-higher-than-normal temperature. Guess what? That happens during teething! Speaking of: he bites! Well, he’s a one-year-old who’s teething and can’t speak! Our day care leaders even told us that, due to being unable to communicate, children sometimes bite. Okay! He also frequently gets sick… from being in daycare! By the time they’ve noticed his symptoms and sent him home (which leads to another hundred something dollar doctor visit), his ailments are already non-communicable. SO WHY KICK HIM OUT!
Normally, a trip home from work to hang with the youngin’ would be a blessing… except when it’s happened so many times that neither you, nor your wife, have enough time off to keep leaving work! I know teachers are known for their lax attitude toward social and familial responsibilities, hence all of the substitutes, but I’m actually looking to get on the ol’ boss’ good side these days.
Rather than ramble on in a vain attempt to bring humor to your joyless life, I’ll end this post with questions and pray to the ever-bloggin’ blogGods that SOMEONE leaves a response.
Is the daycare doing their job by kicking my son out for a slightly-elevated, totally-normal temperature? Is there anyone they are protecting by doing this?
Should they be allowed to eject a “student” over some good-natured biting? Again, we’re not talking about a fully-functional human being, we’re talking about a near-mute one-year-old.
Is it possible that my darkest fears, that Daycare X is understaffed and/or lazy and/or trying to cut corners, have come true, and they simply don’t want to deal with him?
Stay tuned! On the next episode, find out if young Garrett has to seek refuge in a nearby, alternative facility, OR if will he get to stay with THAT DAYCARE COMPANY I TRULY HATE WITH ALL OF MY BEING!!